As I was driving to the barn this afternoon after school, I was thinking again about the story of Ella and John. John was from a large family...13 children in all, though 11 lived to adulthood. His youngest sister, Gay, raised my mom (and she's who I consider my grandmother, though in actuality she's my great-great Aunt). Their mother, Martha, probably instilled in them their strong personalities. She had come from a childhood of misery - orphaned as a child, raised by a family that used her as a house servant and nanny rather than treating her like their own child. At Christmas, they would give her coal while they purchased beautiful gifts for their own kids. I can't imagine that kind of childhood; even further beyond my grasp are the effects that kind of upbringing must have on the heart and mind of a young girl. I wonder about Martha - I wonder if she sought escape in her marriage to W.W. Rector (my great-great grandfather) - I wonder if she ever in her life felt like she deserved to be loved, even as she was married for many years and surrounded my many children - I wonder if she ever struggled with anger and bitterness and hatred.
It seems clear where John may have inherited his big personality and determination. I think that strand of a story will end up in my work somewhere. And I can't deny my own stubbornness that may have its roots in John.
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