Humbled

Humility isn't a topic that we like to talk about much, at least not in our individualistic, do-it-yourself, pursue-the-American-Dream society.  Being humble isn't something that is readily sought after.  But, if God in man's body humbled Himself even to the point of death on a cross, I certainly believe that I should be seeking after humility. 

But...have you ever heard the maxim, "Be careful what you wish for"?  Praying for humility is borderline insane.  After all, you learn humility by being....humbled.  Another word built on that same root is "humiliated."  It's certainly not the same in meaning, but the words are definitely related - and they frequently FEEL the same in the heat of the moment. 

We can be humbled in many ways, though, and in the past month, I've experienced this from two separate events. 

First, on June 23, I took Obe to the second recognized show of the season.  Fortunately, my ride times were both in the morning, because the weekend temperatures hovered in the 90s, and Tryon always feel hotter than Asheville - the sun just seems to BLAZE down there.  Remember last year's schooling show?  My first ride was at 9:20 in the covered arena.  After getting to the barn at 6 AM, catching Obe, cleaning her up, and braiding her (in 30 minutes...a personal record), we were off.  She came off the trailer like a rock star, totally chill, just taking in her surroundings.  I had about an hour until my ride time, so we prepped slowly, giving myself about 30 minutes of warm up time.  She warmed up beatifully, but the test in the covered was a tough question to ask her first thing.  Weird shadows popped around; you could see the legs of the horses walking up on the steeplechase track up the bank; there are barns nearby with the hustle and bustle of the show going on.  Needless to say, she was a bit distracted.  We had a few bobbles in our canter work, and we didn't quite get the 60% that I wanted (and need for my Bronze).  I had enough time between rides to go back to the trailer, untack for about 25 minutes, and prep for the second ride.

See how calm she is?  ;)

My second ride was at 10:37 in one of the outdoor arenas.  Thankfully, coats had been waived, so I wore a neat blue Oxford shirt with sleeves.  Again, she warmed up amazingly well, and this time the test went beautifully!  There were a few places where she was tighter than I wanted, and our lengthenings are a work in progress, but that's the very definition of First Level.  Her walk work was spot on (always is), and her canter was balanced, ground covering, and willing.  I couldn't wipe the smile off my face after the ride...

Note ridiculous smile on face....Obe was too embarassed by my foolishness to even be photographed

....until I got my score.  It was actually TWO POINTS LOWER than the first ride that had major mistakes!!  I couldn't believe my eyes.  I had scored a 5 on our free walk, a move that Obe does in her sleep...and looking back at the video, I have no clue what the judge was seeing.  I was frustrated...and humbled. 

See, dressage - despite it's seemingly "objective" scoring system - is actually a pretty subjective sport.  This particular judge had a "pet peeve," which happened to be suppleness.  So, any time that Obe showed any amount of questioning or tension, she penalized us HARD.  All I could do was take her feedback to heart, realize that there's a kernel of truth in it all, and get to work. 

This past Wednesday (the 4th of July), I had a lesson with Debra to talk about it all.  She admitted that the scoring was harsh, but she basically said, "Here's the approach to take with this.  Assume that you'll show under this judge all the time, and aim to make her love you."  So that's what the past week has been - a lot of hard work on getting Obe pushing, using her hocks, and being supple all the time.  We'll see if it's working...it's a bit too soon to tell.

The second event happened just under an hour ago.  I have this amazing friend, Koryn, whom I haven't seen in way too long.  We became friends as we both worked for a less-than-scrupulous trainer in Virginia, and that rough experience helped to bond us deeply together.  Even though she's quite a bit younger than me, she's certainly my peer in her maturity, her work ethic, and her love for friends, family, horses, and God.  She's amazing...did I mention that? (and it makes me sad that I don't have any pictures with her!)

We keep in touch regularly through Facebook and through text messages, and it's fun to see what she's working on as she works with one of the best dressage riders and trainers our country has had in the recent past.  I miss her - her wonderful sense of humor, the way she talks to the horses, the way she's already ready with a hug when I need it most.  Today, though, she surprised and, yes, humbled me.  She emailed me, giving me a gift that not only did I not expect, but I also don't really deserve!  She says I do - she says my hard work inspires her.  That only humbles me more, because I know deep down how hard it is to keep going and how much I question the work I do. 

But I'm humbled...I'm blessed beyond anything that I could ask or imagine...and I'm humbled. 

My turn...

This Saturday...it's MY turn.  It's my turn to be the one getting dressed, getting packed, bathing MY horse and braiding MY horse's mane.  After years of watching others....after years of HELPING others so that they could be successful...now I get to do it!!!

When I pause in all the craziness of getting ready for a show, I can't help but be grateful for where I am.  I've worked hard over the past couple of years to be in a place both in my riding and in my finances so that I can afford to show.  I'm proud of that work...and now I get to see it come to fruition.  Sure, it freaks me out a bit to think that I'm getting what I want.  But, I'm not letting that be at the forefront of my mind.  When I swing up on Obe at that show on Saturday, and we march off towards the warm up, I'm going to smile up into the shining sun and be GRATEFUL. 

It brings tears to my eyes just typing it.  I may be a slobbery mess at the show!  That'll make for some great photos!  ;)

Moving right along...

On March 24, I went down to Tryon to Harmon Field with Michele and her young OTTB Timber.  Normally, if I trailer Obe with another horse anywhere, she is SUDDENLY best friends with that horse and cannot stand to be separated from him.  She'll pitch insane fits...like "airs above the ground" kind of fits.  That's why all our trailer this year has been solo, and she's done amazingly well!  I have definitely hit on a strategy that works for us, so I was a little concerned that this most recent show would be with another horse AND we'd be attempting to ride a test. 

When we got down there, we unloaded the horses and tied them to the sides of the trailer.  Obe couldn't really see Timber too well even though we had both escape doors open on each side (and the horses were tied on opposite sides of the trailer...right next to the escape doors).  I ran to the office to check in and get my number.  When I came back, Michele told me that Obe had climbed up into the escape door (the person-sized door on the side of the trailer) and tried to get across the trailer to Timber's side....she did this THREE times.  I rolled my eyes and tried to groom my prancing, dancing, shifting around horse.  She kept craning around to try to see Timber around the trailer's front.  I just knew this was going to be a wasted day.

I finally got her tacked up (it's a little more difficult to tack up a moving target), and had Michele hold her while I got on.  Timber was still tied to his side of the trailer (sweet boy...he didn't care where Obe was, but he loves to know where Michele is.  She's HIS girl).  I swung up, and Obe marched right off towards warm-up. She didn't even whinny for Timber!  We walked straight over to warm-up, checked in with the ring steward, and started doing our thing!  I was a bit blown away to say the least. 

The warm-up was tiny, and I kept swerving around to miss horses that weren't exactly being steered.  At one point, one lady was bent WAY over her horse's side tightening her girth, and her horse was just roaming around aimlessly....RIGHT into my pathway as I cantered around.  I swerved and shot her a look, but she wasn't even paying enough attention to notice that.  Oh well...welcome to warm up. 

I think I warmed up a bit too long.  I got on about 30 minutes before my ride time since I wasn't sure what kind of horse I'd have once I was on.  However, at the 15 minute mark, she was perfect.  She wasn't tired, she was on my aids and responsive in a non-blowing-up kind of way.  The final 15 minutes kind of pushed her over the edge and she got a bit more dull to my leg and a tad more pissy about things in general.

We went to the show arena and rode our test.  I didn't have a reader, and after I crossed the first diagonal (First Level Test 2), I got a little lost.  The test is bizarre at that point, I must say, because you're supposed to just trot all the way around to S....which is a long way away.  I was lost for the entire short side...not sure if I should leg yield or canter or what.  Then, I remembered the trot marathon and continued on down the long side.  We had some good moments after that...we also had a few "uh oh" moments, like when Obe kicked out on our canter transition and when she broke while coming back from our canter lengthening.  But, she held it together, we rode the whole test, and we succeeded at not rearing/sucking back/acting like a lunatic at any point!  Yay, Obe!

Last night, I had a lesson with Debra (and I have another next Wednesday evening) to work on a few issues before the big show on the 14th.  Obe definitely needs work on her trot lengthenings, not dying in the lateral work, and staying soft coming back from canter lengthenings.  We worked on ALL of that last night in creative ways (of course...Debra is amazing).  First, we worked on a 20m circle doing renvers with energy.  Then, I'd slide my inside leg back up to the girth and ask for her to PUSH and lengthen out of it.  I went back and forth between the longer stride and the renvers until I had her on my aids...completely soft to my leg...fluid through her loin.  That sets us up well for the leg yield/ten meter circle figure 8/leg yield part of the trot work in First 3. 

We then moved to canter work.  I started on the right lead (her easier) on a 20m circle on true canter, then an adjoining 20m circle in canter counter.  Basically, a figure 8 without changing lead.  That proved difficult for her, especially the counter canter, so I had to play with letting my inside rein open and soften to allow her shoulders to raise and come through.  What I loved about it was that my outside rein became the main communication with her so that when I came back onto the 20m true canter circle, I was able to ask for a lengthening in her canter stride and bring her back softly without her breaking.  It was all in that connection on the outside rein/seatbone/leg.  Wow...seriously, wow.  The left lead (the one we broke on in the test) was even softer, especially after I got brave and LET GO of my left rein and fully connected onto my right rein.  It was awesome! 

So...moving right along.  I feel like she's in a good place right now and, given that I have over a week before the big show, I think we'll be exactly where we need to be when the 14th rolls around.  I'm excited to have one more lesson with Debra next week...good stuff, that.

Both ends of the spectrum...

As you may recall, I was planning on taking Obe out to a schooling show down in Tryon on Saturday, Mar. 3.  In fact...I DID!  I got to the barn extra early that day to get the stalls cleaned.  The horses weren't turned out thanks to the outrageous thunderstorms and even a few tornado watches and warnings the night before.  So, the barn didn't take that long to complete.  The weather had cleared by mid-morning, and I felt encouraged and happy, though my stomach was in a few knots. 

Once I got the truck and trailer pulled up to the barn, I decided to be very responsible and put a bit of air in the trailer tires that looked a tad low.  I plugged in the incredibly loud air compressor and managed to NOT blow myself up. 

Obe walked right on the trailer, and we headed off down the road.  As we pulled out of the Encore driveway, I could feel my insides quivering.  I was so nervous!  Trailering to a lesson was one thing - if I made a complete fool out of myself, only a couple of people saw it and knew about it.  If Obe flipped out, I had backup in the form of Debra.  However, this time...I was all on my own.  Once I was on the road, it was me and my horse.  Those thoughts started to take over my brain, and I had to do a few deep breathing exercises as we drove to the on-ramp to the Interstate.  By the time I got on the Interstate, my jaw muscles were beginning to ache from clinching. 

I finally settled a bit as I switched from I-40 to I-26 and everything was still going well.  Of course, we got near the busy exits around Biltmore Park and traffic came to a complete stop.  My jaw was threatening to completely seize up at this point.  As we creeped along in traffic, an SUV pulled alongside me and honked the horn, telling me I had a window open in the back.  I shrugged and said it was okay...of course I had the windows open!  I had slid them all open to let some air in the trailer while we went along.  So, I shrugged it off, and saw the reason for the incredibly slow traffic...a car - ON THE SHOULDER - where the driver was replacing a flat tire.  Seriously, people???  I understand slowing a bit so you don't plow down the driver, but stopping?  Sheesh.

We got down to Tryon without any other incident.  I parked alongside the other trucks and trailers and got out of the truck.  I looked the trailer over - and one of the back DOORS (the top doors over the ramp) had come open.  The little pin that holds it shut was gone. THAT'S what the SUV driver was trying to tell me.  Poor Obe...that door was probably banging and swinging around the whole time.  I checked to make sure she was still alive (she was) and then went to check in at the show office.  I wasn't competing, but I still had paid my trailer-in fee and needed to get a number so taht I would be easily identifiable on the show grounds in case I landed in the dirt and my horse took off to gallavant around the steeplechase course. 

When I got back to the trailer, things just clicked.  I settled into a place inside my head that was calm, patient, well-planned, and awesome!  I got Obe off the trailer and tied her to the side.  She glanced at the other horses, but not once did she even whinny!!  What a change from this same show last year when she went down with Butterbean (in the pouring rain) and she would leap and buck and scream when he went out of sight.  Seriously, taking her places by herself is awesome! 

I tacked up, remembered my number, and hopped on at the trailer.  We walked freely and purposefully to a small warm up area near the large dressage arena.  There were no more tests being ridden in that arena for the rest of the day, so we got to play around and in it.  The wind was flapping the judge's tent a bit, so it was good practice.  Of course, Obe doesn't care about the tents, the tractors, the dogs, the people...she's just worried about what the other horses are doing.  She glanced at the other horses, but she was actually very easy to re-focus and get working.  I was greatly pleased with the work she was giving me.  And...I rode in the same ring as Eric Dierks.  Yep...I did. 

I walked her over to the jumping warm up.  There wasn't anyone jumping, so I just wanted to get her in the ring and move around a bit, just to see the different sights.  Then, we walked over one of the bridges and stood outside the competition arenas, watching the dressage tests and jumping rounds.  She fell asleep in the sunshine as we stood there, and my heart sang with joy!!! 

Shortly thereafter, I got off, loaded her back up in the trailer, and headed home.  It was the most successful outing we've had in AGES.  I had great work from her, I felt like I could have ridden a test and done well, and I was headed back home. 

If you've ever driven the stretch of I-26 West between Tryon and Asheville, you know that there's a substantial climb coming up out of Tryon towards Hendersonville.  It's a steep grade...tractor trailers typically struggle to make 35 mph, and it lasts for several miles.  Along that stretch of highway, the truck was not pulling well.  I didn't have much power at all, and the engine was whining this strange whine.  It wasn't rpms...they were generally around 2,000...nothing huge.  But there was a whine to the engine that worried me.  I limped along at about 35 mph, but once the road leveled, things got a bit better.  Then, just past Hendersonville, there was a huge puff of smoke that came out of the truck.  It was beginning to struggle to pull again (there are several smaller climbs coming out of Hendersonville back up to Asheville), and now I was worried.  Soon, the temperature gauge hit the roof and the oil pressure disappeared.  I did not want to pull over on the side of crazy I-26 with my horse in the trailer, so I nursed the truck to the nearest exit (about two miles) and got off onto a small side street.  When I stopped the truck, smoke came up out from under the hood.  I was completely alone with my horse in a trailer and a broken truck.  I almost flipped out completely.

When all was said and done...an hour later, Patti showed up with her horse trailer to switch Obe (which Obe did without even batting an eyelid.  Switch trailers on the side of the road?  Sure!  Why not?).  Elizabeth showed up with her truck to pick up the trailer.  And the tow service showed up to get the broken truck. 

This week, I learned that motor was completely blown.  Ugh...I feel horrible, especially since it's not my truck.  It belongs to the barn owners who have trusted me with it.  Though, they've been amazing...they don't blame me, and they realize that it was going to happen at some point.  The mechanic told them that before I did anything to it, only three of the eight injectors were fully working.  No wonder I didn't have power coming out of Tryon...I was working on three cylinders.  Like pulling a horse trailer with a Ford Festiva. 

I still feel crappy about it.  So, that day ran the entire spectrum of emotions...nervous, downright anxious, stressed, sick, happy, elated, freaked, joyous.  No wonder I was exhausted for most of the following week (which was thankfully Spring Break). 

So now...the show season is still on, I'll just be going in different vehicles.  I'll keep you updated!

Grrrr....

Yep...that's the projected rain forecast for Saturday.  See the "-ille" in Knoxville?  Directly below that, on the NC/SC line is where I'm trailering Obe for the schooling show.  Maybe I should take a couple of oars with me... 

Leap Day!

Happy Leap Day, everyone! 

It's a Leap Year, which means it is also the year of the presidential election in the USA...and also the year of the summer Olympics!!! 

Everyone probably knows that the Olympics this summer are being held in London, England.  I'll be watching the equestrian events with great interest (of course) and I already have my picks for who should be on each team (particularly the dressage and eventing teams).  I'm also excited to see the cross-country course, which is set in a small park in London (it's usually held in some faraway spot because there's not enough room in the host city for a cross country course).  However, I'm also excited to watch swimming, diving, track and field, and gymnastics.  There's always high drama in those events, not to mention just out-and-out physicality and strength.  They are beautiful to watch!

In other news, I'm getting ready to order a new dressage show coat and a new pair of white breeches....eeek!  This means this whole showing thing is getting real...and close...and real!  Yay! 

I have a lesson with Debra tomorrow evening, which will be a great prelude to our trip off the farm this coming Saturday.  We're heading down to a schooling show just to hack around and school in the environment (and possibly stalk Eric Dierks - mentioned in my last post - because he'll be there with a couple of horses).  Then, towards the end of March, I'll ride a test at a schooling show to prep for the upcoming April show.  Whew!  One step at a time, though....I'm focusing on my lesson with Debra and the discussion I want to have about which First Level test to work on right now.  I like the way First 2 breaks up the canter coefficient (it's for the return to working canter after the lengthening).  That's different from First 3 which INCLUDES the lengthening on that movement (and therefore in the coefficient).  I ALWAYS get "show more" on my canter lengthenings, mostly because I'm a little nervous to ask for too much at a show.  Who knows?  We may just end up in another county if I ask for too much.  So, I'm not sure I want to try First 3 quite yet because that would bring the score down - and if it's a coefficient, that means TWO low scores.  So, that's my focus right now...lesson and discussion with Debra.  Then I'll think about Saturday....and then later all that other stuff I mentioned.....eeep!

Everything is connected

After writing yesterday's blog post about my anxiety about expectations and the fear of being judged, I watched a video of Eric Dierks doing an open house at his farm in Tryon.  I'll post the video here, but it's the part beginning at 36:49 that really drew me in.  Eric had just gotten off a green horse, and at this point he is transitioning to a more advanced horse.  The conversation he has with the audience is nothing short of touching for me! 

Here's what I take from that brief conversation. 

1.  Expectations can be my worst enemy.  I think I confuse goals and expectations.  It's good to have goals, to have benchmarks that I want to work towards.  However, when I start laying on top of those goals the expectations that say I have to achieve them by a certain time or in a certain way, I basically set a trap for myself. 

2.  As a rider, I need to know that I'm not being judged in a lesson environment (at a show, of course I'm being judged!).  When Eric mentioned that that's his goal when working with a rider, I wanted to cry.  That's exactly the kind of attitude I want to have as an instructor...and it's exactly the kind of attitude I want/need from any instructor that I ride with (and I definitely don't feel judged with Debra).

3.  The horse needs the rider to chill, to slow down the brain, and to remember the important steps of strengthening and stretching rather than just cranking.  This makes the horse feel comfortable, physically and mentally.

And the last thing I took from this video....

I WANT to work with Eric Dierks!  I'd love to set up a lesson with him sometime.  I have no idea how expensive that would be, but he's only 45 minutes away.  It would seem a shame to not utilize such an invaluable resource that's so close by! 

Tonight, when I ride...my goal is to work on stretching and balance and pace to help make Obe feel comfortable physically and mentally.  However, I will check my expectations at the barn door and ride through a two-way conversation.  Yay, Eric!    

It's so public...

I've been playing around with my blog a bit, and I added a new section there on the right that lists the shows I want to attend this year.  I also included the ambitious word "Results" to the title.  EEEEK!  That makes it seem so public, so set in stone, so real.  I truly do want to show quite a bit this year, and I'm working seven days a week to make sure that I can afford to do so.  But, having those goals so...so...out there makes them seem so real. 

Then, that thought triggers those little voices in my head that are attached to my performance.  What if I don't do it?  What if I go and fail?  What if I can't measure up to the expectations that I just put out there for the world to see? 

I know...I know.  It doesn't really matter.  In the whole grand scheme of things, my performance or lack thereof at these shows truly doesn't even make a dent in the universe.  Only in my own little world and my own myopic vision do scores or performance at these shows really matter.  I guess I just feel the weight of it a little differently - I've been wanting to do this my whole life.  I remember being in high school and talking to my friend, Amy, on the phone for hours after she had gotten back from one hunter show or another.  She would tell me every detail, and I would drink them in like a thirsty man at a desert oasis.  As she told me of prepping for classes, braiding, bathing, warming up, and how her courses went, I yearned to be the one at the show.  I wanted to be the one getting up at dawn, feeding the horses, walking my courses, getting nervous, and riding in the ring.  I wanted to be the one who had ribbons on her stall door.  I wanted to be the one who missed school not because of mundane sickness but because of horse shows.  I wanted to be the one who had stories to tell and phone calls to make when I got home. 

Fast forward to my adult life, working in Virginia for a dressage "trainer" (yes, I put it in quotation marks - WHY I put it in quotation marks is for a different blog post).  I had Obe for most of the time I was there, but I wasn't able to afford showing.  So, I traveled to the shows...I WAS the one to get up at dawn and bathe and braid.  I did the stall cleaning, tack polishing, feeding and grooming.  But when it came time to step up in that left stirrup and warm up to ride the tests, that person wasn't me.  It was always someone else. 

Now, I'm staring down the throat of everything I've always wanted.  That's THRILLING, but at the same time it's terrifying.  I know enough about showing that I won't be disappointed by the atmosphere, the hard work, or the details that go into making it happen.  I don't harbor any grand illusions about it in that way.  But this time, I WILL be the one swinging up onto my mare, warming up, riding in the rings, showing and having stories to tell afterwards.  It makes me feel all shaky and funny.  I can't wait, but at the same time I'm a little scared.

Photo evidence!

The fantastic owner of the facility where I went for my lesson last week emailed a few pictures she took of me and Obe during our time there.  So I have proof that my horse was a good girl!  No rearing at the trailer...no flipping out over the new atmosphere...no refusal to work, rearing, bucking or general insanity.

Obe being very good at the trailer while tacking up

A bit grainy...but working at the trot to get the hind stepping under and more expression up front

A complete success!

Friday's jaunt off the farm for a lesson with Debra was a success in every way possible!  I was blown away by my sweet pony's sincere attempts to listen and try during our lesson.  I won't bore you with every detail, but here's the run down...

I got out to the barn on Friday morning and got the truck and trailer pulled up the drive and loaded up with all my gear.  I pulled Obe out of the pasture and cleaned her up (yay for a clean rub rag...even her fuzzy winter fur was gleaming!) and loaded her up.  She went straight on the trailer...no pulling back, no frenzy, no worry. 

On the way to the farm, I took a wrong turn...well, a wrong "veer."  At a fork in the road, I veered left instead of right.  At that point, I kind of started to panic a little, because I wasn't sure how I was going to turn the truck and trailer around on such narrow, country roads.  The truck is a big F-350 flatbed...the trailer is a gooseneck, two-horse with a large dressing room.  So...no small load.  Luckily, I happened upon a mobile home park that had one of the single-wide trailers missing.  So, I pulled in, backed the trailer into the empty spot, and managed to get turned around.  I'm sure the residents of the trailer park were in awe of the "new neighbors" who were moving in with simply a horse trailer!  ;)

A great place to turn a horse trailer around...

Once I went the right direction, the farm was actually easy to find!  I pulled in, met the owner and took Obe off the trailer.  She came out a little jazzed...head up, snorting, looking around and not paying attention.  I just let her look and stand for a few minutes, then I took a chance and tied her to the side of the trailer with her hay net.  After about 20 seconds, she started eating hay, cocked a hind foot in relaxation and just stood there while I groomed, tacked up and talked with the owner of the facility.  I was already blown away, but I was trying desperately to hide it, just in case a future meltdown may ruin the good feelings! 

Debra showed up and we walked together past a little pond (that got a couple of snorts) to the small indoor arena.  It was perfect that I was in such a small space...Obe and I both felt fairly confident - no large open spaces to invite a run into the next county!  I longed first, allowing Obe to get all her snorting and passaging out of her system.  There were cows next to the small arena, and in with the cows was a white pony that had the longest winter fur I've ever seen.  It seriously looked like a yak.  Obe had NO IDEA what that white animal was, and every move it made was worthy of a snort. 

Not EXACTLY how the pony looked, though I'm sure this is what Obe saw.

Finally, she lowered her head a bit and relaxed, so I told Debra I was going to go ahead and get on (where did this courage come from?).  Debra agreed, saying, "If all we do is walk around a bit, it's a success because she's off the farm." 

I think that statement gave me permission to keep my expectations in check and just be okay with whatever I got.  After all, I'd already met my primary goal...to get Obe off the farm. So, I relaxed.  Surprise, surprise...so did OBE!

Once I picked up the posting trot, she was forward, swingy and stretchy...and a small glimmer of hope began to glow in my heart.  Seriously, I was beginning to think that this may actually work out!  An hour later...we had worked on trot lengthenings, canter departs and really pushing her on.  Yes, folks, in a new environment where previously we may have exploded, I was actually PUSHING my horse for more expression in her trot.  She ended the lesson tired, happy, loose and completely on my aids.  I couldn't believe it...we went back to the trailer, I tied her back up with her hay, untacked her, and she stood there.  She just stood there.  FANTASTIC!!! 

Debra and I had a great conversation about my goal...to get my Bronze.  That means all I need is a 60% to get qualifying scores.  As I rode, she told me what was a 60% and what was higher...how to ride for the score with a low-scoring judge...how to take Obe to the brink of losing her balance (or her mind), and then how to ride just below that threshold so that I have some brilliance, but not explosiveness.  If we had had that lesson at home, I would say it was great.  But the fact that we had it OFF the farm made it monumental.  I feel like Obe has turned a corner in the way she mentally reacts to her surroundings...and it feels awesome!

As I was driving back to the barn, I couldn't help but be elated, almost to the point of tears.  It was just me and my pony, taking on the challenge, and doing fabulously!  I couldn't have been happier.  I'm still on cloud 9...three days later!

"It's a start!"

This coming Friday, I have my first off-campus lesson with Debra.  Jim and Barbara are kindly letting me borrow the farm's truck and trailer to take Obe to a farm in Waynesville that has a small covered arena.  Debra will meet me there for a lesson. 

I'm trying VERY HARD to contain my excitement!  I have no idea how Obe is going to react since we're trailering by ourselves.  I'm hoping that her reaction will be very positive - she tends to get attached to any horse she trailers with.  At shows, she doesn't like to leave that horse, or have that horse leave her, her do anything that doesn't involve keeping track of her brand new BFF that rode on the trailer with her!  Trailering her alone may take care of that issue.  Of course, there will be other horses at this farm, and I'm sure she'll be all curious about them.  I'm interested to see how well I can get her attention and get her to focus. 

I'm also very glad that Debra will be there.  She's so experienced and talented (yet incredibly down-to-earth).  Her presence is calming and reassuring. 

So....we'll see! 

Counting chickens...

I've always heard the admonition, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch," and thought it was cute - maybe not totally helpful in any given situation, but cute. 

I'm struggling not to do that!  Obe has been fantastic so far this winter.  Compared to last winter, she's a different horse.  Taking her off grain has changed the crazy factor completely.  Even though the horses have been in their stalls less than last year, there have been a couple of stretches where she's been trapped inside for several days in a row because of rain and mud.  And yet, she hasn't climbed the rafters, pretended to be Spirit, Stallion of the Cimmaron, or attempted to off load me in a bucking spree. 

Another factor in her attitude change has been clicker training.  I started it a little over a month ago, and I've been more than impressed with how much she's changed.  The extra feedback of the click/treat cycle has changed her willingness to try.  She's much more forward...especially in the first trot I pick up during warm up.  Traditionally, that's been when the "suck back and rear" phenomenon has happened; since clicker training, she's much more loose, forward and stretching through her neck and body.  She's such a busybody and worry wart that I think the more I can give her various forms of feedback, the better she is.  A simple, "good girl" and pat just haven't been enough.  But now that she knows the click is "her sound," she's listening for it and trying for it.  I love it...seriously, I love it. 

So, I'm trying not to count my chickens...yet.  I'm hoping to get her off the farm for a couple of lessons "away" with Debra in February.  Then, there are a couple of schooling shows in Tryon in March that I would like to do before heading out to our first recognized show in April.  With the way she's been acting, I'm actually excited to get out and about and see how it works.  But, that's getting awfully close to counting those chickens who haven't yet hatched.  I really don't want to waste a ton of money on a recognized show just to find out that my horse is completely unrideable.  So, hopefully, some off-campus lessons and a couple of schooling shows can help me have a clearer picture of how many chickens I have.  ;)

Not horse related...

Happy New Year!  Yes, things are still moving along with Obe, and I believe the alfalfa pellets have made a significant difference in her attitude.  Oh, we still have "discussions" periodically, but nothing as revved-up and explosive as we had before.  I've also started playing around with clicker training, and I LOVE IT...but that's for another post.  You'll just have to wait and see how it's working...  :)

In other news, a new semester has started at school, and I'm teaching two sections of ENG 114, which is our Research & Professional Writing class.  Honestly, the "professional writing" part of it is kind of boring to me...business letters, memos, emails, etc.  But, I think I'm going to spice it up a bit this semester by making my class a business (maybe we'll own an animal rescue or something), and making all the correspondence we learn tie into the running of our business.

However, I LOVE the research part of the class.  This semester, I'm teaching the research paper first, so I'm diving into early with my students.  I hope this helps them in other classes.  Last time I taught this class, I did the research paper last, and I had so many students say, "I wish I'd had this information earlier! It would have helped in (fill in the blank) class!"  So, this semester, I'm doing the paper first...hopefully giving my students the tools they need for research papers in other classes.

Now, this also means that I'm doing research.  I write alongside my students; when I assign an essay, I also write one.  So, I do a research paper as they do theirs.  This way, I join in discussions and show them what I'm doing - it's incredibly valuable for them to see that I struggle with the process just as much as they do.  I think that opens their eyes to the fact that there IS NO SUCH THING as the perfect writer...that mythical creature that sits down at a computer and churns out perfect prose every single time. 

In my last ENG 114 paper, I researched George Price, an American scientist who gave his entire life up to pursuing the idea of a genetic basis of altruism.  His life (and his work...the questions he was asking) is fascinating.  This semester, I'm spurred into research by another person.  This time, it's Margaret Tobin Brown, better known in our culture as The Unsinkable Molly Brown.  Her life has been distorted in popular culture to an outrageous myth (that has NOTHING to do with who she truly was)...but the REALITY of who she was and what she did is much more interesting than the myth ever could be (especially if Brown is played by Debbie Reynolds...what a horrible choice)!  She was on the forefront of nearly EVERY influential, progressive movement of the early 20th Century - the suffrage movement, fitness, literacy, reforming the treatment of juvenile delinquents, miners' rights, immigrants' rights.  She was a powerful voice in all of those...oh, and she also just happened to have survived the sinking of the Titanic.  Her life is fascinating, and I'm interested in looking at her connections to all those political/social movements.  I'm also interested in asking questions about why our early renditions of her life resorted to such caricatures...were those early writers frightened off by Brown's strength and intelligence?  Were they unsure of how to present such a woman?  Are those qualities "scary" in women?  Good stuff...

I'll let you know what I come up with.  Right now, I'm devouring the biography of Brown, Molly Brown: Unraveling the Myth by Kristen Iversen (which was a major influence in the tours and information given at the Molly Brown House Museum in Denver, which Jim and I visited last month...which started this whole inquiry for me). 

I'll keep you updated...