Humbled

Humility isn't a topic that we like to talk about much, at least not in our individualistic, do-it-yourself, pursue-the-American-Dream society.  Being humble isn't something that is readily sought after.  But, if God in man's body humbled Himself even to the point of death on a cross, I certainly believe that I should be seeking after humility. 

But...have you ever heard the maxim, "Be careful what you wish for"?  Praying for humility is borderline insane.  After all, you learn humility by being....humbled.  Another word built on that same root is "humiliated."  It's certainly not the same in meaning, but the words are definitely related - and they frequently FEEL the same in the heat of the moment. 

We can be humbled in many ways, though, and in the past month, I've experienced this from two separate events. 

First, on June 23, I took Obe to the second recognized show of the season.  Fortunately, my ride times were both in the morning, because the weekend temperatures hovered in the 90s, and Tryon always feel hotter than Asheville - the sun just seems to BLAZE down there.  Remember last year's schooling show?  My first ride was at 9:20 in the covered arena.  After getting to the barn at 6 AM, catching Obe, cleaning her up, and braiding her (in 30 minutes...a personal record), we were off.  She came off the trailer like a rock star, totally chill, just taking in her surroundings.  I had about an hour until my ride time, so we prepped slowly, giving myself about 30 minutes of warm up time.  She warmed up beatifully, but the test in the covered was a tough question to ask her first thing.  Weird shadows popped around; you could see the legs of the horses walking up on the steeplechase track up the bank; there are barns nearby with the hustle and bustle of the show going on.  Needless to say, she was a bit distracted.  We had a few bobbles in our canter work, and we didn't quite get the 60% that I wanted (and need for my Bronze).  I had enough time between rides to go back to the trailer, untack for about 25 minutes, and prep for the second ride.

See how calm she is?  ;)

My second ride was at 10:37 in one of the outdoor arenas.  Thankfully, coats had been waived, so I wore a neat blue Oxford shirt with sleeves.  Again, she warmed up amazingly well, and this time the test went beautifully!  There were a few places where she was tighter than I wanted, and our lengthenings are a work in progress, but that's the very definition of First Level.  Her walk work was spot on (always is), and her canter was balanced, ground covering, and willing.  I couldn't wipe the smile off my face after the ride...

Note ridiculous smile on face....Obe was too embarassed by my foolishness to even be photographed

....until I got my score.  It was actually TWO POINTS LOWER than the first ride that had major mistakes!!  I couldn't believe my eyes.  I had scored a 5 on our free walk, a move that Obe does in her sleep...and looking back at the video, I have no clue what the judge was seeing.  I was frustrated...and humbled. 

See, dressage - despite it's seemingly "objective" scoring system - is actually a pretty subjective sport.  This particular judge had a "pet peeve," which happened to be suppleness.  So, any time that Obe showed any amount of questioning or tension, she penalized us HARD.  All I could do was take her feedback to heart, realize that there's a kernel of truth in it all, and get to work. 

This past Wednesday (the 4th of July), I had a lesson with Debra to talk about it all.  She admitted that the scoring was harsh, but she basically said, "Here's the approach to take with this.  Assume that you'll show under this judge all the time, and aim to make her love you."  So that's what the past week has been - a lot of hard work on getting Obe pushing, using her hocks, and being supple all the time.  We'll see if it's working...it's a bit too soon to tell.

The second event happened just under an hour ago.  I have this amazing friend, Koryn, whom I haven't seen in way too long.  We became friends as we both worked for a less-than-scrupulous trainer in Virginia, and that rough experience helped to bond us deeply together.  Even though she's quite a bit younger than me, she's certainly my peer in her maturity, her work ethic, and her love for friends, family, horses, and God.  She's amazing...did I mention that? (and it makes me sad that I don't have any pictures with her!)

We keep in touch regularly through Facebook and through text messages, and it's fun to see what she's working on as she works with one of the best dressage riders and trainers our country has had in the recent past.  I miss her - her wonderful sense of humor, the way she talks to the horses, the way she's already ready with a hug when I need it most.  Today, though, she surprised and, yes, humbled me.  She emailed me, giving me a gift that not only did I not expect, but I also don't really deserve!  She says I do - she says my hard work inspires her.  That only humbles me more, because I know deep down how hard it is to keep going and how much I question the work I do. 

But I'm humbled...I'm blessed beyond anything that I could ask or imagine...and I'm humbled.